the c in "crazy"

Tin Hearts Anyone?

2008-04-08T02:10:00.000-07:00

"So you want a heart? You don't know how lucky you are NOT to have one. Hearts will never be practical until they are made breakable..." The Wizard of Oz to the Tin Man

I've read The Wizard of Oz countless times when I was a kid but never really understood what the wizard was trying to say to the Tin Man.

Now, it is oh so clear to me...

I wish the message had been clear back then, then maybe I wouldn't be doing the routine of picking up the shattered pieces of my heart, gluing them together and letting them heal, only for the shattered pieces to fall off again.

Maybe I should go on a quest for the yellow brick road and find the wizard --- I would ask for a tin heart to replace mine instead...

Stand Still

2008-04-08T02:00:00.000-07:00

April 6, 2008

I'm standing still, afraid to move out of reach of this small ray of light seeping through a hole in this dark lonely bubble I seem to be trapped in...

I'm standing so still, but my spirit is groping -- moving around, searching for answers, for direction, for the broken pieces of me that have fallen off...

And until my spirit and me reunite, I wish to remain standing still, waiting for such time when there's no more need to seek answers, that there's only one obvious direction to take, and the broken pieces have regenerated -- making me feel whole again.

... Sweet sorrow is the gold tomorrow...
sweet sorrow is the gold tomorrow...

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Am I standing still beneath the darkened sky?
Am I standing still -- with the scenery flying by?
Oh am I standing still?
Out of the corner of my eye, was that you passing me by?
- Standing Still (Jewel)

my haiku pieces

2007-08-30T21:43:00.000-07:00

I love writing haiku. Through them I can express myself, vent my anger, capture my joy, let out my stress... And because a haiku is made up of just three lines with 5-7-5 syllables, I can easily remember the lines I created without jotting them down. I can also write them
on table napkins, bus tickets, Mercury Drug or 7-11 receipts or whatever receipts available, hehehe, or save them in my mobile phone... The play with syllables can be fun and mentally stimulating, when you get the hang of it. Plus, it saves me from being bored (and gives me a good excuse to ignore passengers next to me -- some can be so annoyingly overfriendly).

Don't get the wrong impression that I'm a haiku addict though -- writing haiku 24/7 on walls, tables, placemats, with glazed eyes. I'm just a poet, who has gone lazy enough to write poems longer than three lines (though I do have a collection of self-written poems).

I don't have titles to my haiku pieces -- just dates and decriptions. Here are a few.

December 27, 2007 (at take off from the domestic airport aboard Asian Spirit from Manila to Caticlan)

Colors shrink 'neath me
I soar to embrace the sky
the clouds my cushions

July 2, 2007
A dumb paradox
is to "leave yet stay"
but a blind heart does

October 24, 2005, 4:00 PM (written for a friend from NZ whom I'm meeting that afternoon at Gateway Mall)
River of knowledge
flows behind his dulcet smile
and his simple style

October 9, 2003, 1:35 PM (wrote this in SIBS' office)
In the air I see
float discontentment envy
But I can still sing.

October 3, 2003
Daylight hurts my eyes
My heart bursts forth with a pang
As I pray for clouds
(Summertime)

Old Rockingchair sways
Back and forth, gently
his lap beckoning
(Sleepy)

September 30, 2003, 1:15 PM (on pesky officemates)
Mad insects they were
buzzing, hovering over
I took the fly swat

11:30 AM (bored at the office)
Glass windows shut tight
Oblivious to thunderclaps
Wishing I were home